"borrowing sentiments"

So friends and fans a dear dear friend of mine Master Feenix (of Purgatory fame) posted the following. His experience noted in his blog mirrors many of my own sentiments. Your thoughts and feelings?


So Dan of the Two Knotty Boys came to Sinister last night, always a pleasure to hang with. We're hopefully going to get to do a book release party for the boys; it's for their second book (and you can pre-order it on Amazon, or come to our party and have them sign it!) so be on the lookout for an announcement soon.

I had an interesting experience playing last night, one that started with frustration but ended with some insight. The girl was obviously very interested in playing with me, she and her friends had been upstairs watching all night. I started talking to them and they seemed to know a fair amount about the scene and told me she had some experience with private play, and after describing various things we could try I asked her what she wanted to do and she basically said I could try whatever I wanted. This comes up fairly frequently and I still don't know what to make of it; Are they trying to be submissive? Too inexperienced to have a preference? Trusting in my judgment? Feeling adventurous? More conversation failed to shed any more light, so I defaulted to light play and lots of checking in to see how she was doing. I had a feeling that she could actually take a lot, but started off with just some light spanking. After a bit I asked how she was doing and got an "OK". This was where I felt some frustration, as that answer tells me little and she was completely non-reactive to my play. So it continued: increase the intensity, check in, "OK", repeat. And eventually I got to the place where I felt a natural ending and finished the scene. We talked briefly, and I definitely got the message that she enjoyed it (which was confirmed when she asked to play with me again later) but she was very quiet.

Thinking this over I came to realize why I like it when the people I play with are reactive. On one level it allows me to know what going on with them with less verbal check ins, and to direct the scene by sensing their likes, dislikes, thresholds, etc. I also feel more connected to them if I feel there's two way communication going on. And finally I guess there's some ego involved, I want to see, and I want the audience to see someone having an amazing experience.

After thinking all this over though, I realized that although this is what I want from a scene, that has nothing at all to do with what the other person wants. There are an infinite number of reasons someone might be non-reactive: shyness, concentration, personal preference. And those are all perfectly legitimate expressions of their experience, in fact, I would never want someone to feel there's a "right way" to react other than their authentic feelings. Seen in this light my frustration disappeared; I had given someone a chance to try something, and they had a positive experience. That's very satisfying.

Thank you Master Feenix for allowing to share your sentiments here. Pinches and spanks pets. Till next we meet dark dreams.

Miss Vonn
www.missvonn.com